kaseumnomuappa. weikereiappamoolahyo. noteurawaseo, keresoappa? notemune, namaeilmaeilnomusopsoppada. honjanomuhimderesou.

it's been a really really really long week. i don't think i slept more than 10 hours this week. ugh.

i hope my next weekend's free :p

happy birthday rachel love (: i'm sorry about tonight ): i love you very very much! <3

otteukajo?

dete, kaette. dete, kaette. deru ga itai, kaeru mo itai. tsukaretane.

feels like we're taking steps nearer and yet further at the same time. doshitte ne, watashi mo shirimasen.

at the end of the day, everyone dies. it's just how you die really. old or young. in a tragic accident or peacefully in your sleep. quickly or slowly. in the comfort of your own home or in a foreign bed in a hospital that smells like the death that has come to claim you. with your loved ones or alone. all of it is fate, karma and retribution. you reap what you sow don't you.

sometimes.. i think that life might just be easier being alone. i don't have to answer to anyone about anything. i can look after my parents without worrying about others. i can lead the life i want to lead. and yet at the same time,  i know that when my parents, aunts, uncles & yet die, i will really be left all alone in this world. that's the problem of being an only child eh.

it's been more than 15 years since i've had to face something like this again. i don't quite remember the last time actually. being older sucks. you can't help but be more involved in everything. and i feel so sorry sometimes i can't do more. or maybe i just don't know how to do more.

no matter how close or distant we are.. a life is a life. the extinguishment of a life is painful no matter how long you've been prepared for it, or how long that person has had to live. i was never good at saying goodbye.